Wishing you a happy, healthy, interesting 2011!
And may the journey be rewarding.
31 December 2010
14 December 2010
Keeping Friends Close and Enemies Closer
Sun Tzu, a Chinese general and strategist from long ago, suggested we keep our friends close and our enemies closer. From a strategic perspective, of course you want to know every move your enemies make.
Here's another perspective. Both our friends and our enemies are on our minds a lot: we wonder what they're doing, have imaginary conversations (or battles) with them, wonder how they would like this or react to that. This tells us about ourselves, too: how we think of them, how that reflects on how we think of ourselves, what's important to us.
Who our friends and enemies are also shows us what parts of ourselves we are friendly or inimical toward. For example, a close friend of mine has some qualities that I find very irritating (the reverse is true, too) - directiveness (or, perhaps, bossiness). The truth of the matter, when I look at myself, is that I have a strong aversion to being bossy myself. It's part of my possible self that I don't know very well because I have consistently shoved it into a closet - a closet without a light, and with a pretty strong latch on the outside.
If friends can show us those parts of ourselves that we don't really want to look at or challenge, imagine what our enemies could do for us if we kept them close enough!
Here's another perspective. Both our friends and our enemies are on our minds a lot: we wonder what they're doing, have imaginary conversations (or battles) with them, wonder how they would like this or react to that. This tells us about ourselves, too: how we think of them, how that reflects on how we think of ourselves, what's important to us.
Who our friends and enemies are also shows us what parts of ourselves we are friendly or inimical toward. For example, a close friend of mine has some qualities that I find very irritating (the reverse is true, too) - directiveness (or, perhaps, bossiness). The truth of the matter, when I look at myself, is that I have a strong aversion to being bossy myself. It's part of my possible self that I don't know very well because I have consistently shoved it into a closet - a closet without a light, and with a pretty strong latch on the outside.
If friends can show us those parts of ourselves that we don't really want to look at or challenge, imagine what our enemies could do for us if we kept them close enough!
11 December 2010
Heart's Desire
There's a teaching on the Sweet Medicine SunDance Path called the Staffs of Power. These are not physical objects, but types of maturity related to our aspects (emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, soul force). The very first one, the one upon which all the others are dependent, is related to our heart's desire - developing the ability to assume authority for it.
Sounds simple, doesn't it?
And yet, how many of us are actually good at it? I know I'm not. Perhaps I'm better than I used to be - almost certainly I'm better than I used to be. But all kinds of things interfere with even knowing my heart's desire, much less assuming authority for it.
In fact, sometimes I don't think I really even know what "heart's desire" means. Does it mean the thing I think will bring me happiness? Something that I long for? Something that will satisfy me in some way? Something that will bring pleasure? A relationship, perhaps? (A Google search on "heart's desire" turns up a bridal shop, cross stitch shop, gift shop, among other things.)
And there are so many aspects to desire - so many facets, different types and intensities, different directions of desire, which sometimes reinforce each other but often work against each other.
But maybe awareness of that tension is part of really knowing and assuming authority for my heart's desire. As I've imagined it, this "assuming authority" thing would involve being aware of and responsible for what I truly desire - whether it is something I choose to act on or not.
As 2010 draws to a close, I'm looking back and reflecting. It has been a year filled with changes and challenges. Some patterns I thought I had left behind me - this year especially related to work and food - have reappeared; at the same time, they have also shown me some new things about myself - for example, why I have developed such expertise at keeping people in my acquaintance circle rather than my friend circle. And how habit combined with allowing pressure from others to guide my priorities keeps me quite distant from my own heart's desires.
Sounds simple, doesn't it?
And yet, how many of us are actually good at it? I know I'm not. Perhaps I'm better than I used to be - almost certainly I'm better than I used to be. But all kinds of things interfere with even knowing my heart's desire, much less assuming authority for it.
In fact, sometimes I don't think I really even know what "heart's desire" means. Does it mean the thing I think will bring me happiness? Something that I long for? Something that will satisfy me in some way? Something that will bring pleasure? A relationship, perhaps? (A Google search on "heart's desire" turns up a bridal shop, cross stitch shop, gift shop, among other things.)
And there are so many aspects to desire - so many facets, different types and intensities, different directions of desire, which sometimes reinforce each other but often work against each other.
But maybe awareness of that tension is part of really knowing and assuming authority for my heart's desire. As I've imagined it, this "assuming authority" thing would involve being aware of and responsible for what I truly desire - whether it is something I choose to act on or not.
As 2010 draws to a close, I'm looking back and reflecting. It has been a year filled with changes and challenges. Some patterns I thought I had left behind me - this year especially related to work and food - have reappeared; at the same time, they have also shown me some new things about myself - for example, why I have developed such expertise at keeping people in my acquaintance circle rather than my friend circle. And how habit combined with allowing pressure from others to guide my priorities keeps me quite distant from my own heart's desires.
10 December 2010
Dreaming in this reality
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where something needed to happen very quickly, and for that to come to pass, a bunch of other things needed to come together? And suddenly, as though someone had prepared the way for you, everything you needed to happen just happened, almost magically? People you needed to talk to suddenly appeared or called you, events were cancelled leaving you with time to care for other pieces, and so on?
This happened to me recently. It was a remarkable experience - so remarkable, in fact, that I remarked upon it to a mentor in the situation. She said, essentially, it happened that way because you dreamed it into being that way.
That is a stretch for me. And yet, it is certainly within the milieu of spiritual and personal growth, and/or pop culture (see, for example, Sweet Medicine SunDance Path Course of Study The Art of Dreaming, or Carlos Castaneda's The Art of Dreaming, or Harvey Mackay's Control Your Reality in Dreams).
I've experienced other instances of this, being at the right place at the right time for something perfect to happen. And in previous years I would probably have said, simply, sweet coincidence! Now I'm not so sure. I have a sense that there is some kind of interconnection between all things, which makes it possible either for me to know (at some still subconscious level) how to put myself in those situations, or for me to influence movements so that the situations are possible.
What do you think? Have you experienced this? Think the idea is ridiculous?
This happened to me recently. It was a remarkable experience - so remarkable, in fact, that I remarked upon it to a mentor in the situation. She said, essentially, it happened that way because you dreamed it into being that way.
That is a stretch for me. And yet, it is certainly within the milieu of spiritual and personal growth, and/or pop culture (see, for example, Sweet Medicine SunDance Path Course of Study The Art of Dreaming, or Carlos Castaneda's The Art of Dreaming, or Harvey Mackay's Control Your Reality in Dreams).
I've experienced other instances of this, being at the right place at the right time for something perfect to happen. And in previous years I would probably have said, simply, sweet coincidence! Now I'm not so sure. I have a sense that there is some kind of interconnection between all things, which makes it possible either for me to know (at some still subconscious level) how to put myself in those situations, or for me to influence movements so that the situations are possible.
What do you think? Have you experienced this? Think the idea is ridiculous?
06 December 2010
The Road Trip of Life
I came across a blog entry from Christopher Penn using a road trip analogy to illustrate the differences between vision, strategy and tactics, and, loving road trips but also knowing how they can sometimes go wrong, it provoked me into thinking about life.
Briefly, here is the analogy:
A strategic plan is like a battle plan: you are putting together the best plan you know how to make in order to maximize your chances for victory. With a battle plan, it may be life and death; with a strategic plan, it's usually not quite so dire, but definitely can be success or failure for your endeavor. So, how best to approach it? As a warrior!
Or, in this case, as a road warrior.
Starting from the bottom with tactics: when you're on a road trip and you run into a detour, what happens? You go out of your way, first of all, adding time and miles - energy expenditure. Second, you may get lost. Third, you may get distracted by what you find on your detour, spending more time than you intended. Fourth, you may get so very distracted by the entrancing things on your detour that you completely lose sight of your original destination and purpose, and either get completely lost or just decide to stay there.
Not all of these are bad outcomes. Sometimes, you have created your particular strategy (where you're going) or even vision (why you're going) from a place of ignorance: you simply didn't know a better reason or place existed. Well, now your detour has shown you that it does. Are you going to stick to your original plan even though you now know something much better, more effective exists? A good warrior will not.
On the other hand, it is also completely possible to become so immersed in details - follow this detour sign, then that, turn left here and left again then right, now where the heck are we? - that you lose sight of the bigger picture - the ultimate destination. You get lost, end up going in the opposite direction from your desired destination. This is astonishingly easy to do in life. In the satisfying of the moment-to-moment wants, or needs, or apparent needs, one can begin to make decisions which are not guided by the larger strategy and do not actually lead one to the desired destination - though they may make us momentarily more comfortable or happy or less distressed.
As I look at the times (and there are plenty) when I've gotten off track, they can certainly be characterized in this way: lost sight of the destination, started making decisions based on the wrong priorities.
- vision = knowing why you're going
- strategy = knowing where you're going (that is, the destination)
- tactics = having the map which shows ways to get from here to there
A strategic plan is like a battle plan: you are putting together the best plan you know how to make in order to maximize your chances for victory. With a battle plan, it may be life and death; with a strategic plan, it's usually not quite so dire, but definitely can be success or failure for your endeavor. So, how best to approach it? As a warrior!
Or, in this case, as a road warrior.
Starting from the bottom with tactics: when you're on a road trip and you run into a detour, what happens? You go out of your way, first of all, adding time and miles - energy expenditure. Second, you may get lost. Third, you may get distracted by what you find on your detour, spending more time than you intended. Fourth, you may get so very distracted by the entrancing things on your detour that you completely lose sight of your original destination and purpose, and either get completely lost or just decide to stay there.
Not all of these are bad outcomes. Sometimes, you have created your particular strategy (where you're going) or even vision (why you're going) from a place of ignorance: you simply didn't know a better reason or place existed. Well, now your detour has shown you that it does. Are you going to stick to your original plan even though you now know something much better, more effective exists? A good warrior will not.
On the other hand, it is also completely possible to become so immersed in details - follow this detour sign, then that, turn left here and left again then right, now where the heck are we? - that you lose sight of the bigger picture - the ultimate destination. You get lost, end up going in the opposite direction from your desired destination. This is astonishingly easy to do in life. In the satisfying of the moment-to-moment wants, or needs, or apparent needs, one can begin to make decisions which are not guided by the larger strategy and do not actually lead one to the desired destination - though they may make us momentarily more comfortable or happy or less distressed.
As I look at the times (and there are plenty) when I've gotten off track, they can certainly be characterized in this way: lost sight of the destination, started making decisions based on the wrong priorities.
20 November 2010
Power is a Horse
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. Or so they say, reminding us that wishing and begging are two flavors of the same thing: being squarely rooted in lack, with no activity to bring about gain and an accompanying air of not deserving the gain being sought.
If beggars and wishers alike are horseless, what is the nature of the horse? In her book Medicine Cards, Jamie Sams writes about Horse as a teacher of power, a connection that resonates well with this adage. Power is what's missing when name a goal or desire but do nothing to achieve it.
In their vision statement, the non-profit group known as the Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society (DTMMS) identifies power as a horse as well, along with beauty, knowledge, and freedom - the defining qualities that bring about a better world. Again, this is not just about waiting for things to get better - it's about making it happen.
One of the teachings of the Sweet Medicine SunDance Path (the spiritual lineage of DTMMS) looks at what it takes to master power. The secret? The Teacher of Loneliness. Hmmm.
On the surface, loneliness seems a bad thing - it certainly gets a bad rap. Loneliness is something we try to fix or solve, a state we try to avoid.
But in truth, loneliness is unavoidable. Our lives are so uniquely ours, there is no way to exactly align with another's. And really - isn't that a relief?
Meanwhile, birth and death are things we must do on our own; it's in the grand design. And though we may fear them because they are unknown, deep down isn't there a quiet knowing of just how utterly precious they are?
So, loneliness is a given, and there's something precious about it. But what? How about this: when we're lonely we don't even have the option of trying to please someone else. Being born and dying are audacious acts that are not performed for any other human being - they are fundamentally our own. And every lonely moment in between is the same story - when I'm the only one around, I'm the only one left to please.
Power is facing the depth of my own desire and purpose, stripped of the distractions of who I think I should be for others. Power is a horse we were each born to ride.
If beggars and wishers alike are horseless, what is the nature of the horse? In her book Medicine Cards, Jamie Sams writes about Horse as a teacher of power, a connection that resonates well with this adage. Power is what's missing when name a goal or desire but do nothing to achieve it.
In their vision statement, the non-profit group known as the Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society (DTMMS) identifies power as a horse as well, along with beauty, knowledge, and freedom - the defining qualities that bring about a better world. Again, this is not just about waiting for things to get better - it's about making it happen.
One of the teachings of the Sweet Medicine SunDance Path (the spiritual lineage of DTMMS) looks at what it takes to master power. The secret? The Teacher of Loneliness. Hmmm.
On the surface, loneliness seems a bad thing - it certainly gets a bad rap. Loneliness is something we try to fix or solve, a state we try to avoid.
But in truth, loneliness is unavoidable. Our lives are so uniquely ours, there is no way to exactly align with another's. And really - isn't that a relief?
Meanwhile, birth and death are things we must do on our own; it's in the grand design. And though we may fear them because they are unknown, deep down isn't there a quiet knowing of just how utterly precious they are?
So, loneliness is a given, and there's something precious about it. But what? How about this: when we're lonely we don't even have the option of trying to please someone else. Being born and dying are audacious acts that are not performed for any other human being - they are fundamentally our own. And every lonely moment in between is the same story - when I'm the only one around, I'm the only one left to please.
Power is facing the depth of my own desire and purpose, stripped of the distractions of who I think I should be for others. Power is a horse we were each born to ride.
19 September 2010
Rejuventation
I have been working (and working, and working - which is just wrong) on finding some balance in my life. I have a darned good life - but sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed by it. Often. In fact, almost perpetually. And this has been going on for several years now, intensifying each year. Doesn't that sound charming?
Let's face it: there is just not much I do that I am willing to give up. So I'm not going to achieve balance by making more time in my life. In fact, I generally speaking would like to spend MORE time on each and every one of the things I already do.
That's it's own challenge. But the question of how to rejuvenate myself has become critical.
Here, in the US, we traditionally have several rejuvenation choices at our disposal: eating, sleeping, watching tv, taking a holiday or vacation, going out drinking/partying. Some of those never worked for me; and now, none of them really do.
I've been watching my energy levels as I go through my days, to see which of my activities leave me energized and which leave me drained.
A good indicator - if a little late in the process - is checking in on how much hope I have. Am I looking forward more than I was before to what's next, or to tomorrow, or to my next class or work task? If so, whatever I just did brought some energy back into the system - good! If not, if I'm dreading it and/or feeling like I don't have what it takes to get through it, then we have a problem.
I am surprised to see that some high-energy-output activites, like leading classes, are my current rejuvenators. Go figure!
And I am curious: what do you find rejuvenates you these days?
Let's face it: there is just not much I do that I am willing to give up. So I'm not going to achieve balance by making more time in my life. In fact, I generally speaking would like to spend MORE time on each and every one of the things I already do.
That's it's own challenge. But the question of how to rejuvenate myself has become critical.
Here, in the US, we traditionally have several rejuvenation choices at our disposal: eating, sleeping, watching tv, taking a holiday or vacation, going out drinking/partying. Some of those never worked for me; and now, none of them really do.
I've been watching my energy levels as I go through my days, to see which of my activities leave me energized and which leave me drained.
A good indicator - if a little late in the process - is checking in on how much hope I have. Am I looking forward more than I was before to what's next, or to tomorrow, or to my next class or work task? If so, whatever I just did brought some energy back into the system - good! If not, if I'm dreading it and/or feeling like I don't have what it takes to get through it, then we have a problem.
I am surprised to see that some high-energy-output activites, like leading classes, are my current rejuvenators. Go figure!
And I am curious: what do you find rejuvenates you these days?
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