Appendicitis

This may be a "part 1" - appendicitis is, for me, a big topic.  That's because - as you might guess - I had it not so very long ago.  And it was a very significant experience.

First of all, there's the knowledge that, if it had happened in another time and place, I'd be dead.  That's all.  I'd just be dead.  So what I have now, post-appendicitis, is in a sense a new life.  I need not have had it, but I do.

Second, there's the impact of the experience.  When I was feeling well enough to stand up and wash myself, I had the rather painful luxury of being able at the same time to look at myself in the mirror.  It was like getting a preview of what my body would look like in 5-10 years if I didn't take care of it.  It scared the heck out of me.

The combination of those two things was a little like that old movie, It's a Wonderful Life.  I got to see two alternate realities, with the opportunity to choose either of them - or something different.

In the Sweet Medicine Sundance healing paradigm, an illness is sometimes referred to as a "knock of spirit."  That is, it's our higher self's way of saying, hey, bud, wake up!  Is this what you really want to be doing?  Appendicitis was like that for me.  It's easy to say that at the time something like that happens, but - speaking for myself - the proof of it really comes later.  Did I really take the opportunity to change something?  Or did I just make a big fuss about how profound it was and go back to exactly what I was doing before?

I was just looking at this a few days ago, and realizing that I had indeed, without really acknowledging it (though certainly intentionally), made some significant changes in my life.  They're not really huge - certain things that I used to do with less dedication are not negotiable anymore; and I'm more likely to be guided by my body's needs rather than attempting to silence or distract from them. 

The changes are subtle enough that, until I sat down to write to a friend and did some reflection about my life now, I had not known they were in place.  I wasn't exactly trying to make them; I simply did.

Making Changes

Several years ago, I found the absolute best system for making changes in my life that I have ever come across: the Sweet Medicine SunDance Path .  The combination of teachings and ceremony on this path are hands-down the most effective tools for making conscious, proactive, holistic change that I've encountered.  (I've linked above to the Red Lodge description because it comes closest to describing how the teachings, ceremony and experience fits together to create the fertile change ground I've felt.)  Because of this, I've been able to make my life much better, much faster, than I had thought likely possible.

And yet - there are still places in my life where I'm just not where I want to be, where I've been stuck for a while, and I don't know how to move from where I am.  Some of them are pretty important.

This week, I found myself (ok, it wasn't an accident, or unexpected) observing a workshop on making organizational change. One of the techniques they used was Force Field Analysis, a social science technique developed by Kurt Lewin.  Here is a vast simplification:

1. related to the change you desire to make, list the forces driving the change and the forces opposing
2. evaluate the driving forces - which are the strongest? which can be easily increased?
3. evaluate the opposing forces - which are the strongest? which can be easily weakened?
4. develop a plan of action based on the above analysis

I think this is usually applied in business or social settings rather than individual (but it's so new to me I don't know for sure).  In this setting, there are application worksheets and 2nd-level analysis and so on. 

However, for me, in my state of stasis, the idea that by simply increasing or decreasing the strength of one force will change the balance of forces in such a way that the change can happen - in whatever time frame - is really exciting. 

It gives me a new tool, a new approach, for those things that don't respond well to the tools I have.  If the nut won't come off with the open-end wrench, maybe you need a socket wrench with a long handle.  If you can't pull the screw out with a hammer, maybe a screwdriver would work better. 

I'm already making my list of driving and opposing forces.  I'll let you know how it comes out.

Here are a couple of places to fine force field analysis information:

• On valuebasedmanagement.net
• At Mind Tools